Sunday, 21 June 2015

Reunion dinner (Dream) / 同窓会夕食 (夢) 現実度70% Realistic 70% in English/Japanese 2015/06/21 

I was in the apartment, very tidy and clean. I realized that I was in Japan. Comfortable beige carpet and sofa. The man who had a new born baby and also my old friend was waiting for me in the flat. I thought even he has a baby, somehow I felt he doesn’t have a wife or I didn’t remember. Perhaps I have many single mother friends.

 I heard his wife’s voice of greeting and baby crying. I couldn’t see her face when I greeted. They are doing something in the kitchen. I met other old friends. I sat on sofa. 3,4 people were there. There was a girl arrived. She waved her hand to me, but I didn’t remember her. She wasn’t particularly beautiful in general, but she was an attractive woman to me. I start remembering who she is. She wasn’t in the school, she was in the evening art class.

 H.K sat next to me. He hasn’t changed from primary school. He looked cute, almost like a girl.
I, he and others talk about his hardships. Then I remembered his story, then I asked “how was it?” he says “well, it was tough”.
I asked excitingly “so you could quit the job?” “My boss is always bossy, but when I said I will quit, his attitude completely changed, and saying please don’t quit” he said
Then I said “People are like that, perhaps he had to do your work after”
He replied “Perhaps…” with his face down.

Later he joined Architecture Company and he is working in the area of interior design.

こぎれいなアパートにいる。これは間違いなく日本のアパートと確信する。ふかふかのベージュの絨毯にソファーがある。子供ができた男性の旧友が僕を待つ。子 供ができたというが、シングルマザーが僕の周りに多いせいか、奥さんがいるかどうか記憶にないもしくはいないと勝手に決めつけていた。 

奥さんの声が聞こ え赤ん坊の声も聞こえる。挨拶をするが彼女の顔がみえない。キッチンでどたどたしている。ほかの旧友にも会う。ソファに座る。ほかに3,4人のゲストがい る。どこかでみたことのある女性が家に着く、僕に手をふるが、どこであったか記憶にない。一般的には美しいとは言えないが、僕は素敵な人だと思った。なん となく彼女と会った記憶が戻る。彼女は学校ではなく、美術の夜間学校にいた人だった。H.Kが横に座る。彼は小学生からちっともかわらず。かわいい顔をし て女性みたいだった。

彼の苦労話で花が咲く。そこで、ぼくも知っていたことを思い出し、「どうだった?」ときく「大変だったよ」と彼。 「会社やめれた の??」僕は興奮して話す。
「普段ボスは偉そうなのに、やめるって瞬間弱くなっちゃてさ、頼むからやめないでっていわれたんだ」と彼。 そして僕は「人はそんなものだよね、たぶん彼が君の仕事をやらなきゃいけなくなったからじゃないか?」 彼はうつむきながら「そうそう」という。


words and painting by Satoshi Dáte

Saturday, 20 June 2015

2015/06/20 Negative is Devil, Positive is God / ネガティブは悪魔、ポジティブは神  in English/ 日本語

We may be trapped by the fear from the ‘TIME’ which is completely false existence that is ‘A weapon’ created by the Devil.

 I dream nightmare, again, it is about my school.

 I had graduated University, but not high school in a dream. I had to choose which Uni I am going. I keep dropping in the school and cannot get out. The class started, but I did not have a note book for that class. What I have was only note with full of scribbling.
The teacher was passing on the left side of my desk. Full of mess.. I was next to the window, near the pillar between the windows. The pillar was a bit behind me. I was afraid that she found out, I am not studying hard or dull (not sure she realise that). The teacher was a lady ( (I wasn’t taught by female teacher in my school in my school in real life, I could not see her face or don’t remember).

On the blackboard, a big painting image appeared. Blackboard was tv monitor or screen to project. She asked us ‘what is this painting?’ suddenly I felt my turned finally came, I know this, I can show off… It is impressionism. I was only doing painting, design and music in the school.

But the teacher said, ‘This is …  Abe’s painting’  He or She is quite famous in the world, but I was like.. who is that?

I was terrified about my future. Horrified… ‘What have I been doing? My body decays… I don’t have much time left… I have to do something right now.. otherwise it will be disaster.’

After I have woken up, I felt, anxiety and worrying, all the negative feeling is The Devil and the positive feeling is the God. When you are afraid and feel terrible, don’t blame yourself, others or the world. Perhaps better to imagine you are fighting with the Devil. Keep your mind steady and beat the Devil and try to reach the God, You will be healed then you influence others, our world will be better.

Why don’t we think we always fight in Holy War.



 ところが先生は「これは阿部 ○○さん」の絵です。といわれ、世界的に活躍されている(もしくは他界している)と紹介をうけ、だれだそれは?と思う。